Match Reports
Grasshoppers I
View Grasshoppers II
| 20 Sept 08 | Grasshoppers 1XI 6 Lowestoft II 0 As the 1XI slowly bumbled their way onto the pitchside we noticed a rather youthful Lowestoft or “Lowey” playing catch in the corner. Were we going to be put off by this team building exercise? Should we adopt such tactics to strengthen our team bond? Could this team of Suffolk U18’s (plus Rogers) prove to be a problem? I didn’t think so when I saw that 4 of them were down on one knee! Anyhoo with Alix AWOL the plan was to keep tight and push them back. Which we did, I don’t think they were in our half for the first half, which was lucky as Laura’s tight helmet meant that her vision was a bit blurry, and had visions of tall men with big balls running all over the pitch! It was soon discovered that Liz had a stinking cold, so with not much pressure being put on the defence, the backs decided to see how many long balls they could send Liz and see just how long it would take before she collapsed in a small snotty heap – she did quite well! And was nearly on the score sheet a couple of times but the added weight of soggy tissues impaired her judgment when it came to the tap ins. Fortunately Sophie and Julia were full of running, both were on fire, but it was Julia that finally managed to beat the goalie scoring twice in the first half. Half time and without the vital Vitamin C it was hoped that the normally ‘come out stronger in the 2nd half’ Lowey would soon weaken – Liz wasn’t looking too perky either. Second half and the continual running of Wendy finally paid off when one of Liz’s strays was squeezed in. Julia finished it off with a hat-trick and apart from a few PMT moments it was an enjoyable game. Keep it up.. back |
| 27 Sept 08 | Bury III 0 Grasshoppers 1XI 7 To be sung in the style of: ‘On the first day of Christmas’
In the first half at Bury my Hoppers gave to me:
4 - Change of Shirt (actually it was 10 but I’m NOT starting from there)
3 - Dodgy bellies (well two really, and a hangover)
2 - Great goals (Julia/Debbie)
and a blood-y nose from Ju-li-a. (that would be Julia then).
In the second half at Bury my Hoppers gave to me:
5 - GOLDEN GOALS! (Wendy/Liz/Julia/Deb/Liz)
4 - Elbow jabs (Kristy)
3 - Side line vomits (Laura)
2 - Matching knees (Kelly)
and a tasty bird called Car-o-line. (err Caroline)
At the Clubhouse for tea, Bury gave to us:
6 - Dry Potatoes
5 - WITH CHEESE
4 - With Beans
3 - Plain Crisps
2 - Weak teas
and a very icky sticky match ball. back |
| 4 Oct 2008 | IES 3 Grasshoppers 1XI 3 It seems Laura has started a more unusual pre-match warm up. This saw both Wendy and Nicky fighting over various bushes trying to see who had what for breakfast! Can I just say that I shall not be following the herd, so if you want to know what I had for breakfast – just ask! (although it’s usually toast). Sophie and Kristy hadn’t quite got the hang of it and could only muster a bunged up nose. From our last two matches we started with much confidence and were pressing IES hard, but the chances slipped us by. IES then pressed back and got a short corner which opened the scoring with one of those ‘plant someone by the near post and tap it in’ jobbys. We were quick to respond though, Sophie equalising almost instantly. Second half and Liz put us ahead and that’s how it stayed for most of the match, but IES didn’t quit (unfortunately) they threw everything forward, (luckily they didn’t see our warm up) and even with Julia helping the defence out, we were unable to stop them getting their second. Time was ticking on, could we get on top before the end? Julia put us ahead once again. Five minutes to go, could we hold on to a much deserved win? They pushed up and had countless long corners and we could not get it out of our half. Finally a big huff managed to find it way past the half way line and everyone vacated our half, but again IES had one last attack in them, it was a break away and it came down to a one on one with me. I must admit I thought I had it covered, but with the skill and trickery only seen in a Jet Li film she made me trip over my own feet, causing a small human domino effect where by I landed on Alix (who was thinking, well if Hayley misses, surely I’ve got it covered), suddenly realised that she had no feeling in her legs, could only watch the ball slowly trickle into the goal whilst she and I lay prostate like two washed up whales (sickening really). back |
| 11 Oct 2008 | Grasshoppers 0 Christchurch 3 I don’t usually do reports when we lose, and this week is no exception. I was going to do a horror story in readiness for Halloween, but as Tina kindly pointed out, that had already happened! But I do feel that a certain persons efforts were worth a mention. Well done to Lauren for keeping mini Sophie quiet – things might have been a bit worser if she had been left to run riot. Well deserved Man of the Match. back |
| 8 Nov 2008 | Felixstowe 0 Grasshoppers 1XI 7 I think that playing Felixstowe is like applying Oil of Olay, as they address the first signs of ageing with 7-in-1 powerful anti-ageing effects.
Minimises lines: Visibly reduces the appearance of fine lines; So much so that on a couple of occasions when the squeeky whippets broke through, it was down to Alix to come out from between the sticks. We did get a little worried when she came out of the circle.
Nourishing moisturisation: intensively hydrates the skin as it begins to show signs of dryness; That will be the rain.
Tone enhancement: When enquiring with the umpire as to why a short corner was given against you, its also important to use a balanced & visibly even tone.
Gentle exfoliation: When being hauled over by the umpire, don’t always assume that you will be leaving the pitch. They might have realised that they were wrong in the first instance and merely want to reiterate their authority.
Pore refinement: Although 7-0 was impressive, it probably could have been more in the first half as liz had several chances but someone needed to move the goal about 1 foot to the left, and the goalie 2 feet to the right.
Brightening: For radiant healthy glow; 2 Goals for Wendy & Julia. 1 for Liz, Kelly and Sophie.
Spot minimisation: Reduces the appearance of skin imperfections back |
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